Everything that I joined. Every single club or society or even boards. I promised them to give them my 110% of effort. Studies are another thing as I did not really asked myself to be in.
Things that I've joined so far:
- Boys' Brigade (BB)
- Interact Club
- Volleyball
- Board of Students Librarians (BOSL)
I remember during the interview of the librarian board. They asked me: "What if BB meeting and BOSL clashes? Which meeting would you attend?" I answered immediatly saying that I would sort them out and would try my best to attend both if possible. If it MUST clash. Then I shall look into the piority. Then get the information of the other meeting next time.
That promise I made. I had definitely took it in my heart and fulfil it.
This Saturday, 8/9/2012, Cheng Liang, my best friend had been promoted to be a Sergeant!
Meaning he has the highest ranking of a boy! How crazy is that!
He also taught us a verse he remembers that is about Oath, Promises.
I do believe I've tried my best to fulfil my promise. Even those that I promised UNINTENTIONALLY.
However, isn't life unfair? I put in my best for all of it. Even the Interact Club, I attended all meetings, tried my best to raise funds, washing cars and so on~
Same goes to volleyball.
HOWEVER! Life is as sad as ever to me. In BB, I'm only a Private. The lowest rank among the boys. Of course everybody would like to be promoted. The reason I wanted to be promoted isn't because I want the power. I just wanted to RIGHTS. I just needed the rights to tell the young NCOs what should have been done and so on. Not doing it in their ways. I wanted to help out in so many ways I could if I am ever an NCO.
*FYI, NCO is a category for people with ranks. Example Lance Corporal,Corporal or even Sergeant.
I've told myself how I wanted to teach the boys how to do push ups properly. I thought of a way but never had a chance to carry it out cause I'm just a private.
In the Interact Club, I only got to be a Vice President because I told the ex-President that I might not be as active cause I wanted to concentrate on my studies. Guess what, shit happened. The president was Kelvin Chee for my year. Not that he's a bad person and so on. I thought it might be good since he could control them all to work with us. However, he just slacked off and left all the work with me. I'm like a pathetic ass cleaning up all the mess he left for me. Worst thing is when I want to carry out some activity. I have to get his permission and every time I suggest something. He wouldn't agree with me.
For volleyball, I know I suck in sports. I tried my best to attend all meeting. Trying to learn and play like the others do. Play like a pro. I guess I was just too delayed. So yea~ I just suck in it. However, I feel so unfair that some people don't attend meeting at all and don't even know if he's a member of the volleyball club, gets to join the school team and play for the school! It just. Made me so mad and sad.
Lastly, for BOSL. I've definitely put in my hardwork in this. I thought they had saw my potential in work last time. When I passed my probationary, I was awarded the best probate and also I got a post of Committee Leader of Additional Head of Organizing Committee (ADHOC). As time passes, I was only given stupid task like cleaning the air conditioners and fans. Somehow, they disbanded the committee and made a new committee. The Disciplinary and Fines Committee (DFC). He gave the Committee Leader post to a younger boy and told me he wanted to train them up. So I gave it like a gentleman and at least he gave me a Duty Leader role. Unfortunately, as time passes, I'm only now a member. Among the ex MBS students that came back to form 6, I'm the only one. Getting no post at all. I wanted bad for the Vice Chairman post as well. Choon Yung getting it, I was super happy for him.
But all of the clubs and boards I joined for form 6. I didn't even try to get any post. I was just. Talking like a freaking useless person because I know others wanted the post badly. I would just say my name and class. I didn't even elaborate ANYTHING! And it's all because my friends wanted a post. I just started giving up every thing. These clubs and society. They don't just mean like a normal thing to me. It means EVERYTHING to me. I was never good in studies. CCA was the only thing I can do right. But now... It's been taken away from me too. It's just so lifeless actually going to school now. I've no goals anymore. The only thing I can do right. It's gone. I just feel so.... lost. Everytime I think about it. I just feel like crying again and again. But no tears will come. Everything I've done. It's all.... unappreciated. All these works.
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